End of 2010

It's just about an hour away to welcoming the new year 2011.

So much had happened in just a year; my temporary relocation to the US, adjusting life as a housewife, finding myself in a new environment, making new friends, loss of my beloved sister, Joseph's marriage, Adeline getting the ballot to her new house, the birth of my cute little Jaden, health issues with both my Mama & Popo and Gonggong.

I think the thing that hit me the most is the death of my sister. I don't think I can be as strong as before when handling death. If I can avoid the issue of death, I'd want to avoid it. I can no longer look at death, know about death indifferently. Adeline was just telling me 1 of her friends posted on Facebook that her boyfriend passed away the morning of January 1st in a car accident. They had welcomed the New Year together and just hours later, she now mourns over the demise of her boyfriend. How unpredictable life is...

With 2011, my resolution would really be treasuring my time here in the US with Dearie, making sure I'm living life as fully as I can, keeping more frequent contacts with my family and basically be happy. I think being happy is very important as it's not only for yourself but for the people around you. They can just feel the positive vibes if you're happy so that's what I want to give to others. It's actually also more difficult to maintain a happy disposition. Just as Image always says... Smile coz 1 smile it starts makes 2...

Happy New Year!!

It's Christmas Day!!

It's officially Christmas Day now and although we didn't have a white Christmas eve, it was surely a really chilly one. The winds were howling and blowing at goodness knows how many miles per hour. Your hands literally feels frozen just by standing outside for less than 5 minutes.

We had our Christmas dinner at Mel's as usual and her house was just decorated with so many Christmas decorations outside and a nice, plump tree inside full with presents. What was missing was just the lack of Christmas tunes but the company made up for it. Although it's usually the more the merrier for such parties, I was happy to be celebrating this occasion with just 7 of us. There's no need for pretense, false laughters, acted expressions and senseless talks. We could all just be ourselves, enjoy a causal but delicious dinner and just talk whatever that comes to our minds.

Of course I do miss the Christmas celebrations with my family. The celebrations I have with my family are also somewhat different so I must say that this is the best Christmas party I've attended with friends in years.

However, this Christmas also marks the first Christmas without little image. Though I'm not physically there with my family, I know that celebrations will never be the same ever. It'll always be knowing that we're missing her especially when it comes to presents time. I will always be able to picture her excitement as she carefully unwraps each present and how her face lights up when she sees what she's received. She is never one who requests for things so that makes it an even bigger surprise for her. Honestly, I've never seen her frown at any presents unless it was a joke on her. She just appreciates every gift given.

Well I don't want to ruin this Christmas with tears and sadness but rather feel her in my heart and enjoy the day with her in mind.

Merry Christmas...

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Well it's my wedding anniversary today and sad to say, I spent the day alone at home. What luck that Dearie had to go for interstate stint during this period. Though I'm not the super lovey dovey and clinging kinda person, I believe it requires effort for a couple to maintain the romance in their relationship so special occasions like these would matter to me. Yeah you can say that you can always have romance everyday if you want but I prefer looking at things realistically. For starters, Dearie is already tired from work so I definitely don't expect that out of him.

Dearie has never been the romantic sort. I think since courtship till now, I've only received 1 small bouquet of flowers. He's not the sort that spend on romance but rather on practical things that I will use on a day-to-day basis or something which he knows will be useful to me. He's also not big on buying branded stuffs as well although at times he does give in to my fancies. I like that he keeps me on my toes in a way and I begin to be more conscious of my spending and more importantly, be more conscious of my needs and wants. Dearie is definitely more supportive of me spending money on my hobbies or techie stuffs than on clothes or branded items.

Hmm, though it's just 2 years that we've been married, yet so much has happened. I like to think that I've grown to be a better person, become even more independent now and be a pillar of support to Dearie. Since becoming a 'housewife', I find myself putting an effort in making sure Dearie has proper meals, and occasional sweets to enjoy. I find myself giving him more attention than before as I would also be bogged down by my own work and stress.

I need to thank God for blessing me with such an easy going husband. It doesn't take much to let him be satisfied even with food. I definitely do understand better what mummy had to go through everyday; racking her brains to plan dinner so that she can satisfy our taste buds. That is daddy's KPI for her. I'm sure glad I don't have any KPIs. Whatever KPIs I had, I was the one who set it.

Having said so much, I definitely look forward to spending many more years with Dearie and I'm really thankful to God for allowing our paths to cross.

Emotional...

I was feeling emotional again and was browsing though Facebook while waiting for a software to be downloaded. Chanced upon this wall post from a friend.

It said, "If tears could build a stairway, and memories build a lane... I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

I just couldn't help but wonder if only it was true... If only I could reach her through the tears shed and the memories and bring her home again. But I know God has his purposes and his plans for each of us and I always believe in things happening for a reason. I'll continue to trust God and have faith that I will see her again in the beautiful shores. I know mummy will definitely be meeting her. I hope that I will be ready when the time comes too.

Sad to say such feelings can only be understood by another who's also lost a loved one because the ache, the pain and the emptiness is just indescribable.

Happy Birthday...

Happy Birthday, my dearest Image. I hope that you are having a really good and happy time on this special day.

It just seems not long ago when we were having your birthday celebration at Grand Copthorne last year. Do you remember the details? Well I remembered checking in the hotel in the afternoon with er er and we spent the afternoon resting while waiting for you & mummy. If I didn't remember wrongly, we had dinner at Sudanese Great World? Somehow, I can't remember singing u the birthday song and you cutting the cake. Do you remember my present to you? I know er er bought you a Baby-G but I can't remember what I gave you already. That's depressing. My memory is usually quite good but I just can't seem to remember these details.

I miss you....... so so much. And I keep thinking back to those few years when we were sleeping together.; the talks we had, the whispers, the laughters, the scoldings. All these seemed so recent but yet it's already 2 years ago. You know, besides Gor Kat, you're the next person I can confide in without worrying about you judging me. I wish there were more of those times... I wish I had been more sensible.

Ok I shan't talk about things that makes us sad anymore. It's your birthday today so we must be happy for you right? I'll be doing something for you and hope I can complete it in about 1 weeks' time. Oh ya, I also need to finish up with tidying the house. Hee... you know your image is lazy gal especially with doing household chores.

Want to wish you Happy Birthday again and I love you very much. Never forget that!

Gloomy, Gray Start Of December

It has been snowing for the past few days since Dearie left. Had some time at home yesterday as we decided against going over to Mel's place for meals due to the snowy weather.

Started spring cleaning the house. My gosh, the cleaning is no joke. I think I will need to start being more religious with cleaning at least every week. I wasn't done with the cleaning yet but realized it was getting late and decided to take a break from cleaning and head out to shovel the snow.

Well the thing about snowing is, yes it's beautiful and romantic but it's hard work once the snow stops as you need to shovel. And the bigger your house area is, the more you need to shovel. If you don't start shoveling, it'll pile up with more snow coming in and that also means you'll need to spend more time shoveling after that. Well I took 2 hours and 15 minutes to shovel 1 full day of snow in my pavement and driveway before I decided I've shoveled enough. I really wondered how many tonnes of snow I had shoveled. At the end of it, I was so tired and my arms and thighs were aching. Well on the positive side, I took it as a good form of exercise to tone up those flabby arms and thighs. Will definitely be doing that pretty often at least for this month.

My my, it's December already. I almost lost count. December has become a month of melancholy for me despite the Christmas celebration. I miss my image so much. Life just feels different without her. Ok, I shall not brood anymore. Gonna focus on creating happy times and enjoying myself as much as I can while I'm here.

Snow, snow and more snow...

It was a snowy long weekend with the end of Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

Well Black Friday is an annual event where you have stores opening up at 4am and discounts going on for almost everything from apparels, shoes, arty stuffs to electronics. Most people will wait till this event to get electronics like TV, laptops, etc. It was something that I was looking forward to but I ended up just rotting at home and did not shop for a single thing even online. One of the deterrent was the weather of course. In fact it was the main deterrent. Snow was expected and the winds were strong. Not very conducive to be driving around in such conditions and I definitely experienced it for myself today.

We had planned to head to town and have a nice dinner before Dearie goes away for 3 weeks. However, I noticed that the winds were strong and the sky was gray and decided against it. Dearie wanted to eat out so we decided to head to Smokey Mountain Pizzeria for dinner. Just when we were leaving, it started to snow but it wasn't that bad as the visibility was still good.

After dinner, I was passed the car keys and asked to try driving in the snow. In the midst of our dinner which was around 45 minutes tops, the snowfall got heavier and the tracks were completely covered with snow when we got out of the eatery. I started out fine but as I kicked in the accelerator, the car skidded and boy, was I panicking. It was my first time experiencing the car skidding and even though I had kicked in the accelerator, it was only at less than 30 miles per hour which is deemed slow. I could hardly see the lane markings and visibility was quite bad with the snow flying. It felt like I was traveling in a time machine. I was just mentioning to Dearie that I would definitely change a few things if I went back in time. However, one thing I won't change would be my marriage to him. I don't think there's a better man for me. Well, I was glad to have Dearie beside me as an extra pair of eyes and for guidance. I let out a sigh of relief when we arrived back home. It was definitely an experience driving through that snowfall.

Well my driveway and porch was covered with snow. Dearie & I had some fun playing and shoveling the snow. Snow can be such a pretty and yet dangerous thing. We had about 2+ inches of snow covered around our house. Think it is one of the rare times when there was this much snow in the area. This part of Idaho doesn't really snow much from what I hear from the locals. It must have snowed for us!

Anyway the fun ended when Dearie slipped and fell. I was so worried if he injured himself especially his knee but he was more worried if he tore his North Face jacket instead. Gosh! Almost gave me a heart attack there. Anyway, that's another dangerous thing when snow comes. Snow melts and as the temperature is still low, the melted snow turns to ice and ice is really slippery when walked or driven on. In fact Dearie mentioned that he had a few of his colleagues slipped and injured themselves. Hopefully Dearie will remain safe and throughout his stint in Arizona.