New Year's Eve

I feel that my blog has been kinda depressing lately but that's my reality of life. I bear another sad news today.

For those in Singapore, people are celebrating New Year's Eve... many partying and counting down to the beginning of the New Year, being hopeful of what the New Year will bring.

However at my end, a family is grieving for the loss of their mother/wife. Hubs' colleague and his family met with an accident just hours ago on their way back from Boise. I don't think they knew it would be their last day together; whatever that was done during the entire day. Hub knew about the accident through the night news and he was shocked. I didn't know his colleague in person but I felt it aftermath.

Their car lost control and rolled over on the highway. The wife who was driving, died leaving behind 4 children and her husband. This is definitely not the way to bid farewell to 2011.

This accident actually led me to recall hubs' close encounter with death as well in February. I had just reached Singapore and my mum received a call from hubs who informed her that he had met with an accident. Michelle told me much later hubs rolled over few times and his car was in bad shape. But hubs was really fortunate to be just badly scratched on his hand and a dislocated shoulder.

I had remained troubled and sad since my last post. I stopped praying, I avoided thinking about God even though there were moments when I subconsciously hummed hymns. I refused to turn to anything spiritual. With the turmoils going on in my heart, I avoided calling my mum because I didn't want my emotions to affect her especially her faith in God. I didn't know what to say to comfort and encourage my mum. Mum said to just pray for her but I couldn't. As hard as I tried to stay away from God, I just couldn't as well. I received a package just today from my family and in the package was a 2012 calendar. The calendar turned out to be from a church and each month revealed a short message from the bible and an inspirational verse. What irony!

Anyway as I recall about hubs' accident, I had an epiphany. I realized God never left me at all. As I mentioned in my last post about the inspirational quote I read, "God guided us, despite our uncertainties and our vagueness, even though our failings and mistakes... He leads us step by step, from event to event. Only afterwards, as we look back over the way we have come and reconsider certain important moments in our lives in the light of all that has followed them... do we experience the feeling of having been led without knowing it, the feeling that God has mysteriously guided us."

He had not only guided us but He watches over us every single day. Things happen for reasons that we do not understand but He will lead us through in accordance to His plan for us. I literally feel a load off my heart and I know one of my resolutions will be to be more diligent in my prayers and give time to learn more about God.

I just want to close with the inspiration verse for January 2012... "Out of darkness, the light shall shine! 2 Corinthians 4:6"

How fitting isn't it... God answered my heartfelt question just like that.