Happyness is really something that has to be constantly pursued. There are things that gives you happiness for short moments and there are things that gives you such happiness that you feel contentment and peace at heart.
What I want is the later; the happyness that gives me contentment and peace at heart.
I was very hurt in a past relationship and it's the past that has been haunting me especially last night.
Over these years, as we have mutual friends, each time I hear news of him, I got really upset. And yesterday I saw pictures of his family by accident and how he looks really happy with her, I got even more upset. I have supposedly moved on with my life now but why do I still feel that hurt as if it was yesterday? Does it mean that I've not actually gotten over it and moved on?
Would I feel happier if I know he was in the dumps? Perhaps I would coz at least I know he got his desserts. At least I would feel that justice prevailed for the hurt he brought me.
Since that incident, I told myself that I will not be hurt anymore by anybody. I made sure I do not show my vulnerabilities. I forced myself to be strong and developed an independent personality. I'm now wondering if these will eventually take a toll on my marriage. I'm wondering if I've set a high expectation for my hubby.
There's a saying that "Time heals all wounds".
It's been more than 6 years now. Will there be a day when I will not feel hurt anymore each time I hear news of him or see his photos? Will there be a day when I will truly be happy and have contentment with my life and enjoy each day that I've spent with my hubby?
What I want is the later; the happyness that gives me contentment and peace at heart.
I was very hurt in a past relationship and it's the past that has been haunting me especially last night.
Over these years, as we have mutual friends, each time I hear news of him, I got really upset. And yesterday I saw pictures of his family by accident and how he looks really happy with her, I got even more upset. I have supposedly moved on with my life now but why do I still feel that hurt as if it was yesterday? Does it mean that I've not actually gotten over it and moved on?
Would I feel happier if I know he was in the dumps? Perhaps I would coz at least I know he got his desserts. At least I would feel that justice prevailed for the hurt he brought me.
Since that incident, I told myself that I will not be hurt anymore by anybody. I made sure I do not show my vulnerabilities. I forced myself to be strong and developed an independent personality. I'm now wondering if these will eventually take a toll on my marriage. I'm wondering if I've set a high expectation for my hubby.
There's a saying that "Time heals all wounds".
It's been more than 6 years now. Will there be a day when I will not feel hurt anymore each time I hear news of him or see his photos? Will there be a day when I will truly be happy and have contentment with my life and enjoy each day that I've spent with my hubby?
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