A Moment of Silence

Dearest dearest Mage Mage,


I can't believe that it's 1 year since you left us. Time just flew by didn't it... On the other hand, it seemed just so recent when we said our goodbyes. I still find myself wondering at times if you have really left us.


Anyway daddy sent an email to all of us on his heartfelt feelings. I'm surprised that he wrote pretty well and I felt the very same sentiments.


The message read:


"And it's been a year since you moved to a new address to keep an appointment with our Lord & there is such a hole in our hearts and lives, we feel the lost each moment. Words cannot describe how much we miss you, how dear you are to us.

Your sweetest, selfless love and laughter will always remain a constant memory in our hearts.  We press on for we found comfort in God's words.


From II Tim 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear but a power of love and a sound mind."
 
This help to blunt the edges of pain in our hearts."


Mage, through the goodness and mercy of God, we survived 1 year especially for daddy & mummy. I just pray that we can continue to grow closer as a family and continue to grow closer to God through God's help.


And there is noone but God who knows and understands how dear you are to us. Loving and missing you till we meet on the beautiful land!

Men Vs Women

My last post didn't really end on a happy note. I just wanted an avenue where I could vent out my frustrations and thoughts.

Anyway things are back to normal and I'm my happy self again. This trip, though I wished it could have been happier, was definitely still an experience. I've also learnt more about hubby and his moods. I guess even though we've been together for a while before marriage, there will still be sides that we do not know of each other and it's through time that those sides be shown to each of us. Some just have their emotions out like an open book whilst others will probably show them only at the 'right' time.

One thing I've come to realize is that I am also at fault as I tend to think or expect romance. As much as I hope to have hubby be like Mel Gibson in the movie "What Women Want", hubby will never be that. I have to remember that he's also not the new age sensitive guy who knows just what's on my mind. So it's me who has to convey to him. I guess sometimes I expect too much from hubby and I get really upset when he falls short of my expectation. But are my expectations reasonable to start with and have I romanticize the whole thing?

I'm always thankful to have friends whom I can sort of share my stuffs with. The conversations may not be full of details but you'll still get the enlightenment you need. There are also times when you kinda know where things go wrong but it takes a friend to point it directly for you to admit it.

Whatever it is, I'm still glad for friends, for family and for hubby. I have another trip with hubby coming up. I'm still thinking where to go and I have less than 1 month to plan the trip out. It'll be a road trip this time and another 2 weeks of time alone 24/7 so it's gonna a test of what I've learnt from my last trip.

Somehow I just have a good feeling about it...

My Frustations

Well I do know I don't have a very good temper to start with but sometimes I just feel like I've been driven to my ultimate limit. My stupid hubby definitely knows that and he's the very person driving me insane every time! He's also the very person spoiling my day and my mood.

At such times, I wish we were in Singapore as it's a place where I'm totally familiar with and I know there'll always be places for me to go to when I wish to escape from his very presence and also to totally ignore him and avoid being contactable, etc.

I love traveling. I do sometimes envy couples going for travels together. I see their photos and I can feel their enjoyment. I feel that traveling together also helps to bond the hearts of two persons as we are so caught up with the mundane day-to-day working life and stress that we tend to forget about each other. For me, things work opposite. I always get upset when I travel with my hubby. I don't feel the bond and the enjoyment that much. As much as I really want us to be better together, to enjoy our travels together, we just can't. It goes to such a point where I do doubt the very significance of our marriage.

I want so much more besides things that are measured by money or things that can be bought with money. And I just get disappointed time and again. Am I wrong to have such expectations? Maybe I should change myself and start wanting branded materials. I think I'll get better results with that.

Anyway, I feel so bloody pathetic to be sitting in bed and writing my feelings right now especially since I'm supposedly on vacation. What the hell am I doing in the hotel when I should be exploring the streets and the sights right? I guess I don't have to say further.

Inspiring Quotes

There are times when a person will need some inspiring quotes to spur them on especially when life is on a downhill or you're at a crossroad. I for one, enjoy getting inspired day-to-day so that I can try to be a better person and live happier.

Some quotes just speak to you and yes though you'll forget that quote after a while, they'll just come right back at you when you need them.

I read one yesterday and thought it was a really lovely one.

It said:

"The most extraordinary thing about the oyster is this. Irritations get into his shell... And when he cannot get rid of them, he uses the irritations to do the loveliest thing an oyster ever has the chance to do.

If there are irritations in our lives today, there is only one prescription: make a pearl. It may have to be a pearl of patience, but anyhow, make a pearl. And it takes faith and love to do it."

Doesn't this quote speak volumes? It sure does to me. I need that as irritations get to me pretty easily so I need to be slower to anger and start making pearls. It's definitely not easy especially since it has been in my character for YEARS but I definitely wanna try to be a better person.

Be Thankful

I was reading the Daily Bread yesterday and today and both messages were touching.

Yesterday's message was about asking God about why certain things are happening, why are they happening to me, etc. What God wants is for us to believe and trust Him to lead us the way. Not questioning Him why as God will never want us to have anything bad on purpose.

Today's message is about perspective. We always look at things in our own perspective especially towards riches. We always look at money, career, myself as greater importance than for example, family, people around us, the world. There is this quote which ended the message "The poorest person is he whose only wealth is money." How very true...

Actually what is happening to Japan has been heavy on my heart. Japan is known to be a beautiful country. One that I've always wanted to visit. A country which I enjoy the food, culture and all God's creations. I just pray that God will see the people through these difficult days and that those who trust Him will continue to have faith that He will lead them the way.

Incidences like these really make me appreciate things more in life, change my perspective in knowing what should be more important, make me count my blessings each day.

Let's all remember to treasure and cherish all that we have and there is definitely more to life than material stuffs and money.

It's so not a surprise...

I received my belated birthday present from Dearie finally. Why finally, because he had let known to me what he had bought when I got back from my home trip but the present didn't get to my hands till only yesterday due to some hiccups in between.

One thing about Dearie which I find it both annoying and cute is that he can never give surprises. Whatever that he wanted to surprise me with, he'll always let it out before I get it. So it always end up being a spoilt surprise.

Well be it a spoilt surprise or not, I'm always thankful and appreciative for all the gifts he's given me. And one thing too, he's always wanting to see my reaction as in my 'excitement' and 'happiness' in receiving that gift. And thankfully to date, I never have to fake my reactions. I may have to fake my surprise but never my reaction in receiving them.

He also likes to play opposition. There are things which I've hinted him for ages to get and he'll never buy them. But the minute when I have something else that I feel is of a higher priority to get and I want it, he'll get me what I've hinted him ages ago. Gosh, I guess that's why there's this saying "You can't live with them (men) but you also can't live without them."

What's going on...

It's been some time since my last post... Firstly, there wasn't really much things to update except for a ski trip that I went at Sun Valley. Meant to do a post on that but other things just caught up in the end. Not that I'm really busy either.

Anyway I've gone home for holidays and spending time with my family; mainly my parents. I can see that they really missed me a lot and I feel a little guilty at having to be away from them. I also had a scare of my life. Dearie met with an accident and thank God he only dislocated his left shoulder. He was supposed to go another state for an exercise and he won't be able to go now. In any case, I'm really thankful to God for watching over him.

Besides spending time with my parents, I've also been spending a bit of time with my cute little nephew. He's really such a sweetie and cutie. I also come to realize that babies are really vulnerable. Well Jaden at 4+ months is already teething. Isn't that fast? I always thought that babies don't start teething till like 6 months or so. I just love spending time with him although I don't clear his shit yet :P It's gonna be some time before I'll see him again. He'd be 2 years old by then.